It has been a long time since I have preserved you in a corner of my heart. Today, I am bidding you a Goodbye. Goodbye my dear ... what shall I call you ??? I don't have any name for you; any title, not even a nickname . I have nothing to address you. If it had been in the old days, I might have called you with whatever name I wanted to; but now in this present moment, I am unable to find an identity for you. even a name... I can't give you because I am not supposed to do that. I am not eligible to do that. Are you laughing at my stupidity ? Are you mocking me ?? Are you having a mixed feeling of hatred and disgust ?? Or are you out of any feeling or emotion ?? I suppose, you have no time to think about it. You will let all this stuff go like you have never ever noticed it. Something that never happened nor it ever existed.
You are a beautiful memory from my past that I liked a lot. but now the time has come for this memory to leave this corner of my heart, to withdraw from the layers of my imaginations; imaginations that ran wild in my dreams.
This memory of yours, from my past can not go any further; it can not stay in my present nor does it have any place in my future. I always knew that it is me who is holding on to this memory, this dream; nurturing it like someday it is going to be true. Wasn't I wrong ?? wasn't am I a fool in your eyes ??
Yes, the answer is in affirmation. Dear Preppy, I am letting you go; already knowing that you left a long long time ago ; still I kept the flames of hope alive. I myself do not know why I did that ?? what was forcing me to hold on to that memory ... for a little while, for a little more. I questioned myself many times but couldn't find any answers. Maybe, there was never an answer to that question.
However, I finally know, there is no Jennifer and no Preppy. They were a creation of my own imagination and now that imagination has lost its relevance completely. It took a lot of time to accept this fact but now it is accepted. Ah !! Do I sound like a sad old clingy woman ??? An old fading beauty fell for sweet words and flirty gestures. Am I such a Down market low priced Item ???
You know, before Jenifer and Preppy there was Elizabeth; One day she declared " I am Nobody's Elizabeth. That Elizabeth is still here with all her glory and grandeur. Elizabeth can not and will not sell her dignity, her self-esteem for a mere preppy. A prep school boy who can't even tie his shoelace properly. Elizabeth was worth a Johnathan; just like Sumire Chan needed Momo more than anyone else and deserved nothing less than Hasumi san.
I am also an Elizabeth, A Sumire Chan ... and I know there is no shop in this whole world, where a Preppy can find a Sumire let apart Elizabeth !!! but I still hope that if there is a preppy then he might have been able to find his jenifer.
So, let me say this... You were a beautiful imagination for my stories and many of my writings; I always felt content after writing that stuff. In that way, thank you for being a part of my writing journey. And on he other hand, Thank you for teaching me this precious lesson of Life; it will always be there to never allow any Preppy to play & destroy the meaning of affection and warmness.
One last note: There is never an End... There is always a new beginning. Every End Brings A New Start.
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