My cell phone started singing in
a loud voice, when I was still asleep, somehow I opened left eye and tried to
slap the phone without looking at the screen (who the hell is calling me on a
sweet Sunday morning). I buried my face once again in the pillow, but the
caller tune was in no mood to stop the chorus, so I picked up the call.
“What’s this, now you are not
even picking our calls? You are in love
with somebody, who is he? Don’t tell me that you found him on facebook. Are you
crazy, how many times I have told you not to spend too much time on net? “
My sweet Ninni was totally
destroyed by this bombardment, but still I was unable to understand what is SHE
asking to me?
“What are you talking, what love
and what facebook, let me sleep.”
“Ok, so you are still in bed, no
problem, call me when you are fully awake. It is Urgent, WE NEED TO TALK.”
After an hour or so, I called her
back (HER—my best buddy Rashmita; as her name tells, she is always in a Rush,
everything and each matter is a call of Rush Hour for her.)
“Tell me who is he and I guess
you are going through a “bad phase” as well.”
“Have you gone nuts or what, I am
not in love with anyone, who told you so and what is this “bad phase”??”
“Teena, sweaty, your facebook and
Gtalk status updates and video posts are revealing everything. Thank god, Amit
told me everything on time, but why the hell are you making it public, why
didn’t you call me. I would have …”
Now it was more than my appetite,
so I almost shouted, “Are you guys have lost your brains. You are judging my
personal life from facebook; it’s just for entertainment, not meant for
anything else. I AM NOT IN LOVE.”
“And how Amit reached to this
conclusion, there would be many people who update lots of things on fb, so
what’s so special about it?”
“Well, he has noticed “Many things”
and he was worried for you. He said you are feeling lonely and interacting with
unknown people on facebook and …”
“Oh really!!! Thanks a lot for
this concern.” I dumped the phone.
It was certainly not the end of
the great Indian Worry Drama (more effective than any spicy curry). After 3-4
days, a high-spirited Rashmi was at my home and this time she had a wonderful
“Marriage Proposal” for me.
“He is running his Own Shop in
that Prime market, he is so charming, so cute, such a handsome. Just meet him
once and I bet you will fall in love with him.” Rashmita Spoke while biting a Dairy Milk, her favorite
chocolate and passed it on to me.
“What kind of shop? And how you
found him, do you know him personally, what is his qualification, what about
his family?” I throw up all my doubts in one go.
“You are such an idiot. He is
running a Watch Repairing Shop and you know his voice is so sweet, he speaks
with such a style and his smile….ummm just like Dairy Milk, silky, soft and
enchanting.”
“Knock-knock seems you are
already in love with him, why don’t you propose him.”
“Ohh gosh, you dumbo, I am making
ground for you only, I am not interested in him. I reached to his shop in a
very sudden manner, my wrist watch was not working properly and then Raju told
me about him, they are friends, you know
...”
“I see, so its Raju’s ideas, now
I am getting everything, carry one.” (I thought)
“What you think of me, am I a
stupid like you, no I know how to deal such matters. Just for your sake, I went
to his shop couple of times and got friendly with him and then asked him about
his background and all ( bahut Achhe se
baat ki maine
These last words rang up loud
sirens in my brain, “what do you mean by “Everything”?”
“Umm, your qualifications,
present job, family (you are a single child) and Very Pretty. He was impressed.
Now do one thing, go to his shop with whatever excuse, take any old watch and
say it needs repair and tell him your name and … you know how things works.” (She
winked)
“Ohh, I forgot to tell you, he
have a freezer/storage box for chocolates and cold drinks in the shop. Just
imagine, if you both get married, then whenever, I will be in that market, I
can go to his shop and enjoy my dairy milk.” She finished the dairy milk bar
however; her face was giving the expressions of “Jo Khaaye Wo Kho Jaaye” the
Tag line of 5 Star.
I gave her a weird look... “Do
you remember, few months back you were saying similar things about Nikhil. That
guy who was working in an American Firm, San
Francisco things, he was also very Cute and Handsome
and Sweet and rest of his traits I forgot. Oh yes!! His Sweet and Simple
Mother, his too good and too cool younger brother who gave a Cadbury
Celebrations chocolate pack on your birthday and his Papa Ji.”
“Let me remind you, your Nikhil Raga went on for months and finally, One Very Fine
day, you were informed by that coolest brother and simple mama that Dear Nikhil
is just SSC pass and had to come back to India because the “agent was creating
some problems”. I stared at her.
“Ok, that time I did not have
proper information and let me also remind you that I shared chocolates with you
as well as, you ate all 5 Stars.”
“Proper information!!!!!! But you
had Proper Information that Mama dear makes very nice coffee.”
“Ok, ok, that’s an old chapter. Moreover,
what do you expect, tell me... in your community, boys hardly opt for higher
education and thus get indulge with some sort of business. You won’t get a
highly educated guy with an impressive job profile here and mom dad will not
permit for inter-caste marriage. Therefore, I am trying to find the best for
you.”
“If you don’t want to go the shop
then I have to do something, I can’t sit ideal. I am sure; he could be a good
match for you. (With these words she obtained a thinker’s position)."
I understood, now nothing can stop and after few minutes, I saw her digging my wardrobe, before I could ask, she found what she was looking for. Yes, an Old Watch (The Treasure of Both Worlds).
I understood, now nothing can stop and after few minutes, I saw her digging my wardrobe, before I could ask, she found what she was looking for. Yes, an Old Watch (The Treasure of Both Worlds).
I made some in vain efforts to
stop her, but soon she left my home with that watch. (After all she is
RUSHMITA).
Next day
Since I have joined this
government job by Meharbani of RPSC,
I used to wonder that why people think that we The Government Employees do not
work and take salary for no good reason.
Like any other day, I was going through a long list of tasks, digging
files in record room and I thought to bring some files into my cabin.
“Meri Files ko jahaan se laaye ho wahin wapis rakhna. Agar meri files
gum ho gai ya mujhe vapis apni jagah par nahi mili to main aage se kisi kaam
mein hath nahi daalunga.”
A sharp and harsh voice echoed. That was our
Clerk Sahib the Great, Babu SomPrakash. I am sure he firmly believes that it’s
His First and Foremost Duty to Take care of Files. He claims that he knows
everything about every case and related people. I don’t want to give him a chance of complaint
so I put all the files back into storeroom and that time I wondered, who is the
Officer? Me or Him... I guess I don’t want to know the answer.
“Aapke kaam bhi mujhe karne padte hain bade sahib bhi busy rahte hain.
Main sabko cooperate karta hun par
mujhe koi nahi karta. Koi baat nahi, main akela hi sab sambhaal sakta hun.”
“Aur aap jab bhi field work ke liye jaayein, tab mujhe bataa kar
jaayein, kyonki aapse jyada mujhe har file ki latest situation ke baare mein
pata hai”. Abhi phone kiya maine
Yeah, I know, how much
overburdened you are? That’s why plethora of official papers and documents are
spread here and there, everywhere; because you don’t have time to organize
them. When we need a particular file, it will take months (and weeks if we are
lucky) to find it out. And thanks to your extra work that almost every day I am
getting complaints from almost every C.A and his clients.
I wanted to say all this in loud
voice, but remained calm because I don’t wanted to give a practical demonstration
of “Aa Bail Mujhe Maar”. I went to
Asmita’s cabin and as she always knows what is “the Problem”, “chill yaar, give him a 5 Star, you know khaayega toh kahin kho
jaayega aur tumhaare section ko is unwanted item se chhutti milegi.” She
winked at me.
In evening, Rushmita stormed into
our house, with a little sad face.
“I went to that watch shop.”
“Ok, so ...”
“That idiot, last time he didn’t
tell me that he is already Engaged, now when I asked him directly then only he
is saying …”
“Oh wait, what you asked him
DIRECTLY?”
“I asked whether he would like to
take the proposal further, I asked for his parents contact number and
residential address. He could have been a perfect match for you, but its really
bad luck. But, don’t worry, he told me that he have a cousin brother who is
running a Mobile shop and he is also handsome
and ….”
“Shut up Rashmi. You need a break
from this job”
“How mean you are…” She left with
an angry and irritating argument.
After dinner, I switched on my desktop,
login to my gmail account and got busy to finish an incomplete story. After a
while, my eyes fell on gmail window bar, somebody has sent a chat message.
“Why you never reply on time, I
am waiting from last ten minutes. I know it’s your style to make me wait; you enjoy
this.”
Meet mister self claimed Big Man Shekhar, a rotten egg imported from JNU campus (Though, I seriously believe that he is a big black spot on the name of JNU).
Meet mister self claimed Big Man Shekhar, a rotten egg imported from JNU campus (Though, I seriously believe that he is a big black spot on the name of JNU).
“You know, I like to spend for
charity, even I have donated a fair amount for the CRY foundation. I have
decided to give my car to my sister, I will buy another one. God has given me
everything.” (It’s the 100th time you are telling me this fact)
“Could you please choose the
color of car for me? I am thinking for the new curtains for my house, what
color shall I prefer; I am having Own house in this Nice Locality of NCR.”
“I have so many good friends, all
IAS, IPS; they are posted in various states. Do let me know if you ever need
any help. I CAN DO ANYTHING, I know some politicians as well as. If I decide
something, nothing can stop. You know, I believe in helping others.” Why are you publicizing this, have I asked
you anything about your contact list.
“Enough of your speech. Now
leave, don’t bug me.” And I clicked the “Block this person” option.
Mood was completely spoiled and the story
remained incomplete. I took a chilled 5 Star crunchy bar from the fridge and
slip into my bed, soon I was snoring, but before going to sleep I didn’t forget
to switch off my phone and make a weird facebook status update (just to give
some more ideas and clues for Rashmita and her spies).
