वनीला कॉफ़ी --- 5 अंतिम भाग

 "ना जाने वक़्त की मर्ज़ी हैं क्या, क्यों हैं मिली ये दूरियां,  ओ मेरी जां "


"अब तुम अचानक से ये बात बता रही हो !!! पहले तो कभी तुमने इसका ज़िक्र भी नहीं किया।  रातों रात तो ये सब होता नहीं। तुम्हें इसका कैसे पता चला ? क्या तुम .... "

"चुप रहो तुम, फालतू के सवाल या कयास लगाने की कोई ज़रूरत नहीं। और मैंने कब कहा कि  रातों रात हुआ।  और तुम्हें कब बताती मैं ? और क्यों बताती ? तुम्हारे पास कौन सा वक़्त था ये सब सुनने का या किसी की मुसीबत को समझने का। "

"अब बिना बताये कैसे पता चल सकता है !!! मैं क्या कोई  अन्तर्यामी  हूँ जिसे अपने आप  भूत भविष्य  पता चल जाए." 

"पता चल भी जाए तो क्या कर लेगा इंसान।"

  "Sunayna, why on earth did you not tell me about this ? Why are you so introverted when it comes to your life and events."
"Introvert!!! you are  calling me an introvert !!!. Do you remember how many times I tried calling you, texting you ? but have you ever bothered to pick my call up ?  That fine early morning, when I called you to enquire about that Ayurvedic national institute and what you said.. you don't have  time to visit there, it was far from your work place and from your residence as well as. do you remember all that ??"
"Sunayna, I was actually busy, I wasn't making any excuses.. and even though you did the same with me a couple of years ago, you were also not picking my calls, not messaging me back; so what i did initially was just normal from my side. and as for that hospital thing, it is actually quite far and you know that cosmo city traffic... it will consume a whole day."
" fine then, Any other excuse do you have ?"
"it is not an excuse!!!"
"well, it is .. from my perspective, it is quite a good one. anyway, I am not asking for an explanation."
"Sunayna..."
"stop calling my name again and again. am I calling your name ?"
"why ? what is wrong in it ?"
"I don't like that. it sounds like you are dragging me in some sort of question answer session."

"ठीक है।" your Iron Curtain... and silent treatments were logical when applied to others but became irrational when others did the same to you. "

"Whatever it is.. it saves me from many uncomfortable situations." 

"Will you now tell me, what exactly happened ? and is this your reason for feeling miserable ?"

"Long story short, it was due to an internal injury, got hit by a vehicle, at first everything was fine, I was fine, minor bruises and cuts and then after a couple of weeks things strated getting bitter and tough. and then this decision was taken."

"and how an ayurvedic treatment was going to help?"

"they could have resolved the internal swellings or any wounds that were causing the ... the problem; at least this is what I was told by some people."

"Okay, let's not detail it. let's deal with it. let's think that it does not exist."

"I don't need any sympathy, it is not me who needs to think like this, it is the rest of the society, will they ever feel like this ? how am I supposed to marry or can have a family of my own?"

"You can adopt, of course with the consent of your ... alright.. I got it. But wait, Sunayana, the world is not that blanck or dull.. I am sure you will find a sensitive person. why do you not hope for good ?"

"because I don't want fake hopes."

"Anyway, next week , I am going back to delhi and then.. i don't know.  I will miss you Sunayna. will you remember me or not...?"

"I don't know... I don't want to keep a track of memories."

Four Months...

"Where are you ? why are you not picking up my calls? is everything ok ? are you alright ?"

"Sunayna, answer my question. this time I am actually asking a question." a message flashed on whatsapp screen and got seen after a couple of hours.

"I am at Dalhousie, it has been fifteen days since I am here. the internet and social media is not much allowed."

"what the hell on earth are you doing there ? and with whom you went there ? Sunayna , you ok ? tell me everything."

"relax, nothing to worry, do you remember, once I talked about visiting a place like Kothi or Sanavar .. a studio cottage .. here it is. It is a resort spa for those who want to heal themselves. and I am alone here, no one accompanied me here, no one brought me here, I came by myself."

"Are you happy ? is this your danube ? that Blue Danube?"

"I am still wandering.. I am looking for answers and lost pieces of the puzzle."

"shall I join you over there for the weekend, I am still in Delhi and not much occupied these days."

"No, I don't want to."

"Why ?"

"we all have our own journeys."

"What is that !!! ehh, can you ever be normal like normal people."

"it is normal, absolutely normal, as normal as playing pool and drinking beer in a pub."

...........................................................................................................................................

"तिशा, वापिस फोन कर रही है, क्या  जवाब दूँ ? तुम कुछ बताओ, उसका ब्वॉयफ़्रेंड तो जर्मनी चला गया बिना शादी किये। और अब मेरी फैमिली को   ऐतराज है।"

"मैं क्या कह सकती हूँ, मैं तो उसे जानती भी नहीं।  और मुझे इन सब मामलों की कोई ख़ास समझ भी नहीं। "

'अच्छा, तो तुम अपना बताओ, उस रिसोर्ट  से आने के बाद  अब आगे क्या ... ?"

"पता नहीं. बस कहानियां लिखने की कोशिश करती हूँ."

" कहानी  लिखने से ज़िंदगी चलेगी ?" 

"तो क्या नहीं लिखने से चल पड़ेगी ? तुम तो नहीं लिखते कहानी पर फिर भी अटके हो।   तुम क्या ढूंढ रहे हो ? तुम तिशा,  रिद्धि या वो हरिता किसी को भी नहीं ढूंढ रहे हो।  तुम अपने  फैसले की वजह ढूंढ रहे हो।  एक सही फैसले  के लिए एक सही और तार्किक वजह। तिशा वापिस आना चाहती है  पर क्या तुम उस मोड़ पर वापिस जाओगे या नहीं जाओगे या अब तुम कहीं और जा चुके हो ?"

"मैं कहीं नहीं जा रहा।  और तिशा से मैं बात नहीं करूँगा। अब इतना सब बखेड़ा करने के बाद उसको क्या चाहिए।"

"अगर ऐसा है तो तुम उसके बारे में मुझसे सलाह क्यों ले रहे हो ? अगर ये क्लोज्ड चैप्टर है तो इस पर विचार क्यों कर रहे हो ? क्योंकि अभी तक तुम इसे एक ओपन opportunity की तरह मान रहे हो ? है ना ?"

"नहीं, ऐसा कुछ नहीं सोच रहा मैं।"

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Three Months  .... 

"तो अब आखिर कुछ तो सोचा होगा ना तुमने। कहानी तो पूरी हो गई तुम्हारी।  अब ज़िंदगी की कहानी को आगे बढ़ाओ। सुनयना, तुम सुन  रही हो।"

"हाँ, मैं विएना के म्यूजिक फेस्टिवल का एक वर्चुअल कॉन्सर्ट  देख रही हूँ।  मैं सुन रही हूँ।"

"तुम कुछ नहीं सुन रही।  तुम कहो तो मैं तुम्हें कुछ अच्छा प्रपोजल बताऊँ, यहां मेरे कंपनी के कैंपस के पास वाले सेक्टर में में एक कंपनी में काम करता  ...."

"क्या उसे यह कॉन्सर्ट पसंद आएगा ? यह संगीत जिसकी भाषा अजनबी और शब्द अनोखे से हैं। "

"मैं समझा नहीं ?" 

"वादी के मौसम भी इक दिन तो बदलेंगे"

कहानी श्रृंखला समाप्त। 

Vanilla Coffee--Part 1

Hello...

It was just like any other day in the class-room, a December evening and Delhi was extremely cold. Mister Jha yet did not come to the class and I was talking with my friend, Asmita. We both were laughing on something and talking as if we are very studious people (though, anybody who is preparing for IAS has no other option but to be studious)…anyway, that is a different story.

Asmita and I were totally, unaware that someone sitting behind us is listening to our conversation. 

Our attention went to it when I heard these words,

” excuse me, is anyone of you have cleared PT before?” we both looked back together and my eyes fell on a charming guy, for a second, my eyes stuck on him, but then we both replied with another laughter,” noooo, but why are you asking?” I looked straight into his face.. For a second, he got embarrassed, but than he smiled, took a pause for a second and continued his words, “yesterday I was absent from the class so just wanted to know what sir has taught in yester-class?”

“Ok, well…yesterday he finished the “Rig Vedic age”, I replied.

But he seemed confused and asked again (let me tell you something, those days my English was really poor…truly poor) so when he asked a question which almost went above from my head and he looked at me with an expectation of another quick reply, I was totally blank. He repeated his question and I tried to answer in Hindi, he kept asking something which I couldn’t understand, for next few minutes this drama continued. I was trying to answer him and he was not getting satisfied with my answers. So finally, I laughed, he looked at me with confusion and irritation; somehow I controlled myself and said.” Meri English bahut kharaab hai, aap please hindi mein poochhiye”.

“ohh”.. He smiled with a very pleasant attitude and said “. koi baat nahi main kisi aur se poochh leta Hun”.  With these words he quickly moved from his seat and soon got disappeared in the crowd of class. After that incident I met him twice, once on the way to coaching, we had a short talk and next time when I was looking for a comfortable, warm seat in the class-room in a chilled January evening. Co-incidentally I found a vacant seat next to him….that day we had another short conversation as I was still not much comfortable in last rows and he tried to arrange a front row seat for me and I stopped him with some expressions of embarrassments and so on… (I remembered, when he said, “tum itni sharmili kyon ho?”) even that day again I forgot to ask his name and he also did not bothered to ask my name (Intentionally or unintentionally, can’t say).

Anyway, after that day we started exchanging greetings with each other…some kind of Hello, Hi…without asking each other’s names and whereabouts and I always remained reserved in my nut-shell. Even I used to try to avoid eye-contact with him or sometimes try to ignore his presence. I remember many incidents, when I ignored his friendly smiles and stares. I used to pretend as if I did not see him. I don’t know why I was doing that …but one thing I knew was that my hear-beats used to get increased when I see him. Don’t know what he thought about me or made any opinions about me, but he never missed to greet me whenever we came face to face.

Another change that took place those days (exactly when, I don’t remember) was that I changed my regular seat...from my favourite corner chair in front row to those last rows, where he used to sit. Yeah, I know that was funny. 

One day, when Jai (my friend) saw me sitting in back rows his first expression was, “did you come late today? What are you doing here in back benches, what happen to your seat, who acquired your seat?” (His voice was a bit teasing).  I replied in a hasty way as if I am caught red handed, “Err...Amm.. Actually today I came late so had to sit here otherwise you know me, I don’t like to sit in back rows.”

“Yeah, that is what I was thinking…” I felt he was still thinking.  Oh I forget to tell you that I never spoke with that guy again, I mean never got a chance to have a word with him… 

However, I did not go back to my front row seat neither that day nor after that. Those days, all my desire was to get a seat either in the row, he is sitting or in a row back to him. However, my bad luck only a few times I could manage such an opportunity. You can say how silly it is.

Well, you are right and I also tried many things, for example, I tried to recognize his friends group so I can reserve a seat nearby them, but most of the time I saw him sitting with different people, he hardly seems interested in the people sitting around him. I tried to recognize his bag, but that proved a big stupidity, there were many boys in the class who had the same dark olive green colored, faded bag and I got used to see those similar bags kept on chairs one by one in one row or in another.  Whenever, I thought it’s his “BAG”, most of the time I found my self sitting next to a nerd who looked “not good” yet was very happy that a pretty girl preferring to sit beside him. Even till date, I can recall his slow voiced short yet important information about the lecture and the topic. “Ye jo abhi padha rahe hain naa, wo seedhe CHHATTHHAA ka class ka kitaab se uthaya hai, hamne padha hai”.

However, days and weeks passed by and nothing much happened then on an evening, I saw something. Something that I did not expect nor I ever thought in that direction.

He was standing by his seat and a cheerful smile was on his face, he was looking at someone and holds on, that someone was Priyanka, the prettiest girl of class. They both were smiling at each other and it was not just a regular exchange of greetings rather it was more of that. Priyanka’s eyes were sparking and her lips were murmuring something and his …. And there was a perfect bliss on HIS face. Then, I saw Priyanka’s friends coming, each one of them gave a smile to him and he responded back. I watched every single thing from a little distance, but no one noticed my presence or maybe there was already a lot of crowd in class.

That moment something broke inside me; don’t know what was that... something got withered up inside me.

Next day, I was sitting on my favorite seat, the corner seat in the front row. Meenu got surprised to see me there again, “so, today you are on time”.

“Yes, it has been so many days since I came on time, otherwise, I used to get late for class  ... therefore, I have  ... “ I left the sentence incomplete, Asmita was now looking straight into my face, so I preferred to stay quiet. ..........

Incomplete...