Hey God, some Buddhi Plz

Me :-  Hey God, give me some Buddhi.

God :- Sorry, it's out of stock.

Me :- when are you going to restock it ??

God :- Can't say, actually I have to enquire with the staff of Devi Saraswati. She has strickened the supply.

Me :- Why !!!!

God :- Misuse or No use at all. ( Giggles).

Me :- but I urgently need some buddhi. Please do something, you are God. You can.

God :- ummm, let me see, what best I can do. Actually, there are many dues and pendencies from your side.

Me :- such as ??

God :- well, the bag of buddhi, I gave you intially was enough for a lifetime but, you wasted it like anything. Then few years back, you asked for some extra buddhi, which was granted and now you asking for more...

Me :-  So what, buddhi is an essential item. I need it. Give me.

God :- Sorry, it is out of stock. You have to wait and give a detail application of the reason of requirements.  And be in queue. Then we will think !!!!

Me :- I need it now. Now. Now.

God :- It is out of stock. Angels, please manage the queue.

Me :- mine is  an urgent case.

God :- first provide the detail utilisation of the buddhi, you were given earlier.

Me :- No joking please. I really need some buddhi.

God :- Be in queue. NEXT.

एक थीसिस चाँद पर

आज मैंने बरसो बाद रात के आसमान में, काले सलेटी बादलों के  मेले में छिपते छिपाते चाँद को देखा।  एक सफ़ेद मोती, चांदनी का थाल, आसमान की चादर पर टंका रेशम का टुकड़ा। ये चाँद फूली हुई रोटी कैसे लग सकता है ??? रोटी तो हलके भूरे गेहुएँ रंगत वाली और छोटी छोटी काली चित्तियों वाली होती है।  चाँद तो झक सफ़ेद मोती है। जब देखता है कि  आदमी तो घूरे ही जा रहा है तब  बादलों के परदे से बाहर निकल बिलकुल सामने आकर खड़ा हो जाता है, अपने पूरे ऐश्वर्य और भव्यता को लपेटे, समेटे।  जिसकी ठंडी रौशनी वाली नज़र भी आदमी को नज़र चुराने के लिए धकेलती हुई  सी लगती है। तब तक सामने खड़ा रहेगा जब तक कि आदमी नज़र हटा ना ले।  चाँद  को  एकटक घूरना किस कदर मुश्किल है , उसकी छटा ही ऐसी है कि नज़र खुद ही दूर हट जाती है ; तभी ना कहावत बनी कि नज़र लगे से भी मैला होता है रंग; कहीं चाँद के लिए ही किसी ने गढ़ा होगा ये मुहावरा। फिर भला चाँद फूली हुई रोटी कैसे हो गया ?? 

रोटी तो गरम लोहे के तवे पर सेकी और आग की लपटों पर पकाई जाती है।   चाँद का नाज़ुक सफ़ेद ठंडा रूप और रोटी की गरम ताज़ी खुशबू , कहीं कोई मेल ही नहीं। 

रोटी तो ज़मीन से निकला खरा सोना है जिसको आदमी अपनी मेहनत की आग में तपा के अनाज के रूप, रंग और स्वाद  में  ढालता है।    फिर चाँद फूली हुई रोटी कैसे हो गया ?? 

चाँद  आसमान की किसी  एक ही जगह पर  खड़ा रहता है या चलता जाता है ,  ये प्रश्न बादलों से पूछा जाना चाहिए क्योंकि वही चाँद को  एक झीनी परदे वाली पालकी में बिठाये चलते हैं, जिसमे कभी चाँद दीखता है कभी छिप जाता है। ये बादल चाँद के राज़दार है , कब, किसने, कहाँ चाँद से बात की, उसे देखा, निहारा  ?? चाँद ने किसको देखा, क्या कहा, क्या पूछा या बताया ? चाँद जब छुपा था तब कहाँ था और जब कहीं  भी नहीं था तब कहाँ था ?? चाँद अपने आप में एक रहस्य है, आदमी के धैर्य की परीक्षा है; अभी दिखेगा, फिर नहीं  भी दिखेगा ; अभी कल परसो तक गोल था बिलकुल मोती की तरह, लेकिन आज ज़रा कम गोल या अर्ध वृत्त सा कुछ दिख रहा है। चाँद के पास कितनी  बातें हैं कहने के लिए, सुनने के लिए।  चाँद बटोही।  चाँद डाकिया।  चाँद हमसफ़र।  

 फिर ऐसा नाज़ नखरों  वाला  चाँद फूली हुई रोटी कैसे हो  गया ??

  चाँद की रौशनी भी अलग अलग रंग  बिखेरती  हुई चलती है।  जब काले बादलों में चाँद छिपता है तब भी उसकी हलकी सफ़ेद गुलाबी झाईं  बादलों के पार दिखती है और आदमी अंदाज़ा लगाता है कि देखो चाँद अभी यहां इस बादल के पीछे है।  चाँद की आभा में सफ़ेद  रंग की जाने कितनी परतें दमकती हैं,  फिर चाँद फूली हुई रोटी कैसे हो गया ? चाँद तो किसी महल के झरोखे पर परदे की ओट में खड़ी किसी  सुंदरी  सुकन्या  का रूप है। 

चाँद को फूली हुई  रोटी  कैसे  ???  चाँद तो कवियों का काव्य और साहित्य का सारंग  है।  कितने सारे नाम धरे हैं चाँद के;  हर नाम का एक अर्थ है, विस्तार है , प्रतीक हैं और कहानी है।  यह शिव की जटाओं का श्रृंगार है। इसे देख कर व्रत उपवास खोले जाते हैं। राजवंशों  का आदि और आरम्भ।  

फिर नींद आ गई मुझे।  सुबह जब जागे और प्राणायाम का अनुलोम विलोम करने बैठे तब तक चाँद की स्मृति शेष हो चुकी थी।  अब आज याद आया कि उस रात चाँद को देखकर कितने ख्याल आये थे। 

आदमी और कहानी

इस दुनिया का हर आदमी एक कहानी है।  उसका बोलना, चलना, रहना,  व्यव्हार, जीवन सब कुछ एक लम्बी ऊबा देने वाली कहानी है जिसके प्लाट और थीम को हर समय प्रेडिक्ट करने की कोशिश की जाती है।  दुनिया का ये सारा कारोबार, ये जगमग, ये  कोलाहल इन ढेर सारी कहानियों का ही एक मिला जुला सा  ताना बाना  है।  इस तरह ये दुनिया एक बहुत बड़ी कहानी है जिसमे कई सारी उप कथाएं और अनगिनत किरदार हैं।  

इतनी सारी कहानियों के बीच रहते रहते आदमी अक्सर अपनी खुद की कहानी जिसका वो सबसे मुख्य पात्र है,  उसे  भूल कर दूसरों की कहानी में उलझ जाता है। वैसे कहानियां उलझने उलझाने के लिए ही बुनी जाती  हैं।   किसी एक कहानी का हीरो  किसी दूसरी कहानी का विलेन बना हुआ दीखता है।  जो लोग एक कहानी में दोस्त हैं  वही लोग किसी दूसरी कहानी में छिपे दुश्मन भी हो सकते हैं।  ऐसा इसलिए होता है कि इंसानी दुनिया दिल और दिमाग दोनों  के घालमेल से चलती है।  कौनसी तार कहाँ से शुरू होकर कहाँ जुड़ती है और कहाँ से वापिस मुड़ जाती है ये तो शायद सृष्टि का मालिक भी नहीं समझ पाता होगा।  

बहुत सारी कहानियां तो बस आदमी के दिमाग में ही उपजती और फिर वहीँ  गुम हो जाती हैं।  आदमी अपने हिसाब से कहानी को तोड़ता मोड़ता जाता है , घटनाएं जो कभी हुईं तो कभी ना हुईं परउनकी एक श्रृंखला अपने दिमाग में जोड़ता जाता है. फिर इस तरह दिमाग के कूड़ा घर में बहुत सारी तहें परतें जमा होती जाती हैं.  आदमी का दिमाग एक मोहनजोदड़ो की कोई साइट बन जाता है, जिसे अगर खोदा जाए तो परत दर परत बहुत सारे ढाँचे निकलेंगे.... आधी पूरी कच्ची पक्की कहानियों के।  

आदमी का होना भी एक कहानी है।  एक निरंतर चलती लाइव कहानी।  सिनेमा के परदे पर दिखाई  जाए  या किसी नाटक के मंच पर, इसका  रहस्य रोमांच, प्रेम और घृणा ,  भय और निर्भीकता सारे द्वंद्व  एक सामान तीव्रता से बहे जाते हैं।  हम सब अपनी अपनी इन लाइव कहानियों  को जी रहे हैं  और  एक दुसरे के मनोरंजन या जुगुप्सा का साधन  बने हुए हैं.  

Song of A Phoenix

My Dear Little Girl,

How are you ? It has been a long time since we have spoken to each other.  It has been more than ten long years of that December morning, a whole decade !!! when we made a promise to ourselves. I know, how much you exactly  remember every thing about that cold yet sunny morning. Right now, when I am writing this letter to you, I know, you are going through a tough phase of life. That is the reason, I am here to remind you something from the past , from that glorious and colorful past which you might be forgetting or perhaps, have lost belief on your own words.

The day and that moment  is still alive in my memories. Darling, in all those years, you have grown up in a beautiful, confident and mature woman; you have come across a long journey. You have crossed the oceans and treaded upon the  most stony and thorny paths. Sweetheart, your journey is a worth telling story of  struggle and hardships. Dreams, that you nurtured in your heart with the blood of your soul, however couldn't be fulfilled completely, still you managed to achieved some of them.  

Flames of passion, ambition and aspiration ... Flames of hopes and desires ... To become an IAS officer. How easy does it sounds.. No ?? Yes, it was easy; It was hell easy to fall in love with just the thought of becoming an IAS and enjoying all that position, status, powers and of course monetary gains that will come along with that lucrative post.     And you loved this dream from the depth of your heart and from the core of your soul.

Was it that easy ? especially, when you come from a small and traditional town. You dared to challenge all the barriers of society that draw the lines for second gender and expect them to be satisfied with whatever options and choices given to them. It was the rage of those hundred and thousand flames that you denied to get married with less educated men, becoming a housewife and to give up the  ambition of becoming an IAS. You decided to go to new Delhi for further coaching and study. The very first girl of your prestigious family who went out of city for STUDIES. People warned you about crossing the "right age" of marriage and producing children and if not then being left to rot like an old sprinter; yet you did not moved even a single inch from your decision. That was the power of those burning flames in your heart that nobody could stand in front of your aspirations.

My dear, how on earth could  anyone  have imagine that this meek, shy, not so out spoken girl  who can't even manage the  "Simple Social Talks"; who have not seen the WORLD out of her cozy and safe home, can take such bold and strong decision. However, your parents knew that their little girl can not only take this decision but will also carry it with all her might. 

Why am I calling you little girl !!! you were not that much little at the time of  those big decisions. But, do I not know that your inner self is of a little girl; giggling, chirping and living in your own castles of  dreams. Soul of a little girl, hidden in the body of  an adult woman; this is how you appear in front of the world.

I know, you do not want to recall all those bitter memories of day to day struggles and troubles, your ailments due to the tough routine and harsh weather of Delhi etc. The cycle of life has once again brought you on such a  juncture when you are feeling depressed and lost. The Physical ailments has given you sufficient reasons to cry for better sunny days of life. But remember your own words, that you spoke on that December Morning, " This is the bottom line of My Life. I can't go down any further. Now I have to rise upwards only. There is one way only and that Way goes Upwards straight."  Do you remember your own words, "I am the phoenix who will rise from it's own ashes." Only you could have said such words in those  tough times.

And you Rose up, you shone like a morning star; Yes My girl that was you, who wrote the IAS mains just after three days of a finger surgery (right hand index finger). Do you remember those Bloody Words of doctors who once declared that you need to consult a psychologist and all that bla bla bla... 

It was you, who proved all those people wrong, who said, "Ahh, SHE!!!! she is looking like an old woman with white hair and wrinkles on her face, what she will do now. how her parents are going to find a good match for her ?" 

They were all wrong. You prove them wrong. Your selection in State Administration Services and the Degree of NET gave them a befitted reply.  And even before that,  before this Tag of Officer and all that decorum, you found a hidden talent of yourself. A talent or say a quality that might have remained hidden inside the pages of your personal diary, bloomed up in a shape of Two Blogs. Yes !!!, Two Blogs . From My Desk and Life With Pen And Papers.  "From my desk" was a tiny step into the world of blogging, a window of your thoughts, imaginations and fantasia. This blog gave a voice to all your pain, tears, sadness and whatever feelings that had shattered you in different ways after the failure in IAS. Little girl, your first ever story  "Yatra" was uploaded on this blog. However, this blog was not just for literary work; you wrote various informative articles about different social economic issues on this blog. And then, you realized that writing stories, fictions, book reviews and personal experiences is something that you enjoy the most rather than the academic work. Hence, this  current blog "Life with Pen & Papers" came into existence. A journey of your literary work, no matter how small or less impressive it was;  all that mattered is, It was a world of your creations, a place that gave a platform for everything that you wished to showcased, be it writing or photography or participating in online contests. A warm place woven with the the emotions, thoughts, fantasies and impulses of your soul. 

This blogging and writing helped a lot; right ?? it gave a new recognition and new level of energy  to the name and person who was still going through the struggle phase in her career. It not just only diverted your negative energy into a positive mode but also rekindle all those little hundred and thousand flames that got diminish due to the infelicities of life. Those flames and their combined energy gave new wings to the phoenix who was slowly slowly rising from it's own ashes. The sparkle and heat of flames that grew more and more fierce with each post that you wrote on blog. And, remember, when you wrote your story of struggle of those years in two parts, titled; Koyaliya Mat Kar Pukar !!! There were mixed reactions; some of your so called well wisher Friends took it as a publicity gimmick or sympathy gaining idea in virtual world. Some others said that writing all this stuff wasn't necessary and maybe the things have been presented in exaggerative manner.

However, that was not the case. You wrote that story because it helped to clean out and wash out all that pain, depression and storms of defeats that were being piled up in your heart from a long time.It was like venting out all your emotions in one go !!!!! moreover, no matter what others said, it took courage to write down all those emotions and cycle of events that you have gone through. It took a hell lot of courage to tell your story to the world; to unfold the pages of personal life... to scratch the wounds again that were healed up. It was a journey to your inner self. 

Right now, when I am reminding you all these things, something from the past is trying to make a come back in our collective memories.  That Greeting Card !!!!, do you remember it ???, What was most appalling about that simple card ? Inside empty, just a scenery of mountains and a lake !!!! or was that the quote, printed at the bottom of the card which immediately caught your attention. Climb High Climb Far, Your Goal The Sky, Your Aim The Stars  without any second thought, you picked up the card and bought it.... bought it for  A Day that you imagined will come in Near future. You decided that one day when you will achieve your goal of becoming an IAS and the day when your Dreams will Come True; you will give this card to yourself; a kind of award or medal or whatever one may call it. In your heart, you knew that such a lovely gift is a worth to wait for. 

The inner side of the card is blank and you kept the blank space untouched for THAT Special Day. However, as the time passed by, this card got disappeared from your memory or the tough struggle of career and life forced you to forget this card. in both cases, darling ! it is the right time to pick this card again and write something in it and present it to yourself, as it was promised  a long ago..... There is never too late for anything.. And It is the perfect time to realize your own worth.... Be proud on what you have achieved in past years and Be Proud on all those wounds, the harsh experiences of life gave you. 

Once Again My Dear Girl, Roar Like a Tigress, Emerge from the Flames of fire pit. Remember, the proud words of your Mother when she said, "What other people's Sons could not do; My daughter has done that."  Let not her words get ruined by the harshness of life.. Little Girl, Do not let the splendour of those hundred flames get  diminish because these flames are the representatives of your own soul, your very existence, your personality, what you have become and how you wished to be recognized and remembered by the rest of the world. 

Your's Only,
 A little flame of your strong will.

This blog post has been written for the #AHundredLittleFlames contest at the platform of indiblogger.  The title of this book drove me to pen down my feelings about life and it's ups and downs. 

Image Courtesy : 1. The Lion Image and the Phoenix is from google.

                             2. The Greeting Card Pics are from my personal collection of greeting cards and not taken from internet.