cocoon

Close the door..close this door along with its windows .. coz I do not want to listen to anyone, I do not want to see anyone.

Close the door, coz I do not want to be seen by anyone, I don't want to be listened by anyone.

Close this door, coz I don't want to see this side of world/earth.

Close the door, coz  it is now enough explored and explained.

Close the Door, coz I want to open another  door to see the  other side of the Earth

Close this door, So I can open new door  to see new people, I want to listen new voices.

Close this door and its windows, coz now these old voices and faces associated with them are now irritating me.

Close this door and its windows,  coz  now, I don not like them anymore. they are appearing so gloomy, so old and weird.


Close this door..

Close this door along with its window, coz I want to flyaway towards a new sky.

Close this door, coz  I want to , yes coz I WANT SO..

Close this door, So  I can open new one to  make new friends, coz I want to talk new things.

Close the door, so I can open the new window, window to the new world, to the new life.

Close this door, coz  I want to see a new garden of  life,  full of new roses and their thorns. 

Close this door...

Now why am I writing all this stuff..coz recently, just  couple of days back, a thought struck my mind..when some random thoughts, musings stormed my little brain..and I felt like to share, to tell, to talk with someone...and few names, actually a few only ..flashed in my mind, names and their relations, their place in my life and my place in their life ...and most of all, will they be interested in all those  things that I am thinking about and  wants to talk about. ..will they listen to all that stuff?? with each name, lots of things appeared in my mind and I tried to find , to link them with what I wanted..will they spare time? they have time? And each time, I got a negative answer. suddenly, I felt there is nobody, with whom I can talk, can share what I was having in my mind..lots of things, words,  ( I will say this, I will say that..maybe I will get this answer or may be that one...then this thing and then that....and this can go on and on until I don't get tired of my own imaginations).

But I realized, there is hardly a single name who will listen to me..a name ...of my own..a name for me...a name sitting with me and taking interest in those things , that are my interests.  though, there are many names..friends, I should call them. but are they really  MY FRIEND (definition of friend is very narrow for me..I can't say like "har ek friend zaroori hota hai....par jo hona chahiye wo bhi hai ya nahin..)...I don't know ..I am not able to decide..I don't know what should I trust or whom I should listen....There was a time when I was used to telling every single (small or big no matter) sorrow, happiness, events or achievements to my friends... there was a best friend to share every single emotion and thought, there were friends to talk with and feel relaxed..but  now it is a time..when I, myself do not bother to tell ANYTHING to ANYONE, because I already know what replies I would or could or should get.





And that is why I am saying..Close this door and its windows...
 

 

क्यों खफा हैं सब लोग?

यहाँ हर कोई खफा है, नाराज़ है... कोई खुद से खफा है, कोई दूसरों से खफा है, कोई ज़िन्दगी से खफा है,  कोई अपने हालात से ही खफा है. मतलब सबके पास अपनी अपनी वजहें हैं और उनकी तफसीलें है खफा होने की.  मैं भी खफा हूँ , खुद से और उन सब चीज़ों से जिसका अभी मैंने किस्सा बयान किया. पर मुझे लगता है कि  हम दूसरों से कम,  खुद से ज्यादा खफा हैं.  अब ये बिलकुल अचानक ही  बैठे बिठाए एक  ख्याल दिमाग में आ गया..  कहिये कि,  अचानक से ऐसा कुछ इल्हाम हुआ मुझे कि मैं दूसरों से नहीं असल में खुद से ही खफा हूँ . और मेरा ख्याल है कि ये बात कम-ज्यादा सब पर  लागू है . (मुझे याद है बचपन में मेरी सहेलियां मुझे अक्सर कहती थी और अभी भी बहुत ज्यादा वक़्त नहीं बीता होगा उनकी शिकायतों को, कि मैं बहुत जल्दी खफा हो जाती हूँ... या खफा हो जाती थी..और तब कभी वो मुझे मनाती थी और कभी मैं ..वो भी पूरे ताम झाम के साथ. chocolate ग्रीटिंग कार्ड्स और भी जाने क्या क्या ..पर अब वो सब पीछे छूट गया है ... )

मेरे ख्याल से जब हम दूसरों पर गुस्सा निकाल रहे होते हैं तब असल में हम कहीं ना कहीं  खुद अपने आप पर ही गुस्सा हो रहे होते हैं.  गुस्से की  वजह कुछ भी हो सकती है ..अपनी ही कोई गलती, कोई कमी या कमजोरी , कोई असफलता, कोई असमर्थता, कोई अक्षमता, कोई मजबूरी या कोई और परेशानी. "तू मुझसे और मैं खुद से परेशान, ऐसे में किसको कौन मनाये "  ये guide फिल्म का गाना है और इस स्थिति को बिलकुल सही तरीके से दर्शाता है. हम गुज़रे कल से खफा हैं. हम आने वाले कल से खफा हैं. हम अपने आज से खफा है. जो हो रहा है उस  से खफा हैं.. जो नहीं हो रहा उस से भी खफा हैं. जो हो नहीं सकता ..हम उस से भी खफा हैं. किस किस चीज़ से हम खफा नहीं , ये कहना ही मुश्किल है. हम इस कदर खफा हुए  फिर रहे हैं कि ज़िन्दगी का कोई मोड़, कोई कोना ऐसा नहीं छूटा जिसको बोझ और ज़िम्मेदारी से ज्यादा कुछ अहमियत मिल रही हो..

हम  खफा है क्योंकि  हमारी कुछ  अपेक्षाएं  थीं जो  पूरी नहीं हुईं, हो नहीं सकतीं  और शायद होनी भी नहीं चाहिए। खफा इसलिए क्योंकि वो अपेक्षाएं जायज़ नहीं थीं ...शायद उनकी दिशा और लक्ष्य सही नहीं था . हम  हर उस  चीज़   से,  उस   बात   से  खफा हो सकते हैं जो हमें अच्छा नहीं लग रहा, जो पसंद नहीं है। अब इस पसंद नापसंद, अच्छे बुरे  की परिभाषा और भी कठिन है।..कभी कभी तो मनमानी भी... ये बदलती रहती है ..आखिर इंसान हैं  फिर उनका मूड भी है ...और आजकल  एक  फैशन  सा हो गया  है  आदत  बन गई है हमारी ये कह देने कि ...." I AM OUT OF MY MIND".

पर एक   बात   पर हम   ध्यान    नहीं देते  ( अपने गुस्से की  वजह  से )...कि   इस   तरह  हम   अपनी ज़िन्दगी  को बस और  ज्यादा बोझिल  ही बनाये  फिरते हैं ...जाने कौन  कौन सी  चीज़ों का ,  गांठों  का बोझ   हम   अपने  छोटे  से दिमाग और नाज़ुक से  दिल पर उठाये चले जा रहे हैं...हम भूल  जाते हैं कि  ये   गांठें, ये बोझ हमारे अपने बनाए हुए हैं।  अपने ही मन का कोई तर्क, कोई पूर्वाग्रह या कोई बंधन  होता है। इंतज़ार में बैठे रहते हैं कि  कोई आये  और आकर गांठें खोले ... और अक्सर इस चक्कर में हम हर उस चीज़ को दोष दिए फिरते हैं अपने खफा होने  जो  इन गांठों का कारण हो सकने की ज़रा भी  संभावना रखती है।  एक वजह और भी मुझे लगती है और वो है कहीं ना कहीं हमारा अपना अहम् ...हम अपने मन से पलट के सवाल नहीं करते ...उसके फ़ालतू सवालों को चुप भी नहीं करवाते....क्योंकि समय बहुत है हमारे पास इन गांठों को संभाल के रखने , उनको सहेजने और  उनका post mortem करने का.

ये गांठें दरअसल  प्रतीक हैं,  कुछ जड़ हो गई या मर चुकी, नष्ट हो चुकी चीजों का, रिश्तों का, अपेक्षाओं का , इच्छाओ का ....पर फिर भी हम उनके अवशेषों का बोझ उठाये चल रहे हैं ..थक नहीं रहे इस कसरत से  जिसका कोई अंत पार भी नहीं.....जिसका कोई नतीजा,  हासिल या अर्थ नहीं  निकलना .....

नाराज़ हम खुद से और दोष बेचारी दुनिया का..नाम बदनाम लोगों का ...कारण कि हमारा दिल-दिमाग हर बार ऐसा कुछ बहाना, कुछ ऐसा ख्याल, तफसीलें, कहीं ना कहीं से ढूंढ ही लाता है, जिसके बूते हम खुद को तसल्ली दे कर सारा ठीकरा औरों के  सर  डाल देते हैं. क्योंकि पक्के तौर पर हमारे दिल को ऐसा यकीन है  कि एक सही इंसान बेचारा, किस्मत का मारा,  गलती से, गलत वक़्त, गलत जगह और गलत परिस्थितियों का शिकार हो  गया है और गलत लोगों के बीच  फंस गया है. बड़ा चालाक लेकिन समझदार है इंसान का दिल. थोड़ा बुरा है पर ऐसा भी बुरा नहीं . अपने  ही मन ने उलझा रखा है.  किसी अजायबघर में रखने की चीज़ है इंसान का दिल और दिमाग.

खुद से नाराज़गी का आलम ये कि कुछ चाहिए पर क्या यही नहीं पता, पता हो तो कैसे मिलेगा ये नहीं पता, इतना भी पता हो तो उस तक जाने का रास्ता नहीं पता...शायद हम इसलिए भी खफा हैं क्योंकि कुछ खो गया है, छूट  गया है हाथ से, या कुछ खो देने का डर है. ऐसा ना हो कि बड़ी मुश्किल से जो एक चीज़ हाथ में संभाल रखी है वो फिसल जाए दुनिया के जंजाल में. इसलिए हम बात बेबात भी खफा हो जाते हैं. इसलिए आजकल लोगों से बात करना, कुछ कहना, पूछना भी  एक सवाल  हो गया है..क्या पता कौन किस बात पे खफा हो..कब किस कही हुई बात से वो नाराज़गी और बढ़ जाए. कोशिश सभी यही करते हैं कि बाहरी तौर पर सभ्यता का, मुस्कराहट का, विनम्रता और ऐसी हर चीज़ का आवरण बना रहे ...पर फिर भी आखिर इंसान हैं ...इसलिए दूर दूर से ही बतियाना (exchange of greetings ) यही वक़्त का सबक है.

मैं आज ये सब क्यों लिख रही हूँ , क्योंकि सचमुच मुझे भी नहीं पता ...ये इतना सब तो  मेरी आप बीती  नहीं ..पर कुछ आस पास देख कर, सुन कर, महसूस कर या कभी खुद भी उसी  का हिस्सा बन कर लगता है कि  "कुछ हम खुद से खफा, कुछ ये ज़िन्दगी हम से खफा, कुछ ये दुनिया हम से खफा, कुछ ...हम सब एक दूसरे से खफा". जो हो नहीं सकता, जो कभी था ही नहीं ,  वो जो होना नहीं चाहिए ...उसके हो जाने की आस में हम खफा हुए फिर रहे हैं।

लेकिन इस सब में हम ज़िन्दगी से, खुद से और दूसरों से प्यार करना,  कबूल करना, आगे बढ़कर हाथ थामना ...ये सब भूल गए हैं, भूलते जा रहे हैं.... पर फिर भी उम्मीद यही लगाए हैं कि दूसरे लोग हमसे प्यार करें, सर आँखों, पलकों  पर बिठाएं ..खुद हम अपने लिए या किसी के लिए इतना ना कर पाएं ..पर दिल को उम्मीद यही है ..कुछ गलत तो नहीं है??

When I Got Lost--- Part 2

However, this situation remained no longer; she made herself   busy with floral vines and in search of that rabbit... However, the enthusiasm was missing.

Then, her eyes fell on that FLOWER…the flower in lake... It was still there. She wanted that flower …she just wanted to have it... but how... it was far …ahh, who cares...She was thinking…

I want this... 

She looked here and there, may be something she can find...  She started searching. After a while, she found a long twisted broken branch of a tree…”humm, perhaps,  this can help..”

She entered into the water... It was cold.. Moreover, the bottom of lake was a bit slippery too... She was moving carefully... slowly-slowly …now half of her body was in the water. The flowers, she was wearing, as ornaments were now loosing up and getting scattered on water surface. Only the crown remained on her head, but she removed it too. Suddenly, she felt something... The cold water…its touch was uncanny... An enchanting atmosphere was surrounding her senses. She let herself lost in that magical moment of heavenly sensation. Water was penetrating her skin…it was drenching her soul, her spirit. She stayed in that position for a while... She even forgot the reason, (the flower), that brought her here, into the water.

After a while, as a thought struck her mind and she felt a bit scared, she came out of that magical world. Regaining her consciousness, she then, looked at that flower... Carefully she stretched the branch that she carried with her and gently pulled the flower stalk... After a couple of attempts, she successfully pulled and plucked the flower. Then, she came out of the lake.

Flower was bigger than other normal flowers and its fragrance was overwhelming her senses.. Or maybe she was still feeling that mystique aura. She made a loose chignon of her hair and tugged the flower in it. She went back to the lake … saw herself in the mirror of lake... Flower was looking extremely pretty or was that her imagination, which was making it pretty? She did not know.

…and then, once again she saw that rabbit, doing something near a tree…both were aware of each other’s presence and were exchanging some glances… girl was smiling and rabbit was twinkling his eyes. Finally, he moved to a tree-grove, curiosity led her to follow him once again. .She entered into that grove... and what was there … more three-four rabbits. 

She took a quick look of the surrounding and her face got delighted with a childlike cheerfulness, engulfing her mind, her soul into a heavenly feeling.  She joined those little fluffy friends or they joined her... cannot say … but one thing was sure that they were enjoying each other’s company. More couple of hours went like this... She forgot about the rest of world... she forgot the time and its barriers… even she fall asleep for a while... She was dreaming. Dreaming about the “other sides”, about the reflections... and about the rabbits. 

A loud voice broke the silence.  Somebody is calling.. She woke up.

“What kind of noise is this?” She whispered. She came back to the lake. 

That boy, the same boy, was wandering here and there, looking all around and calling her name ..

“June, June…are you there?” 

She was surprised to see him back. For a minute, she stayed quiet and watched his activities.

“So you are here...” He was happy to see her, he was breathless still, a broad smile spread on his face. She noticed it and came towards him. She was still looking at him with a wonder. 

“Say something…I thought, you might have gone... But, you are ..”

“Yes, I was here only.” she said slowly. He noticed that unsaid happiness and unexpressed joy behind those words.

“How you came back.. I thought you are gone. Your people were calling you.” She asked

“Yes, some work…but I finished it and came back to see whether you are still here…” His breath was now getting normal.

She was listening to his words … carefully.

“So, what were you doing all the time? Did not you get afraid?”

“Afraid of what?”

“This place, all alone...”

He left the sentence incomplete and asked almost in a loud manner... ”What happened to those flowers?”

First, she laughed…then, she said, “They are gone”

“Gone??? Where?” He was getting confused. Thousands of thoughts were storming his mind…

She was smiling; her eyes were sparkling with a mystery. Holding a silence, as she is hiding something, she giggled and repeated, “They are gone”

He was still in same situation... Wanted to ask, but did not know how?

“Did you not see this...?” She pointed to the flower in her hair. Her face was now glowing with a feel of victory. He couldn't get her, but then, the very next moment, he looked at the lake. (They were not much far from lake) and again at the flower..

“How did you do that ?” His eyes were widened with a great surprise.

She smiled, “Just did that. I went into the water and plucked it with a broken branch”. She said as a little child telling about her good work at school.

“Are you crazy? “You went into the  water?!!!!!”

“Yes...” She said in careless manner.

“You are crazy…completely crazy”. “It could have been risky... don’t you know that”. 

“Relax, there was nothing as such. It was neither risky nor any troublesome task.”

Her tone remained careless and ignorant to his question. He listened more words than she spoke and understood more than she actually meant. His enthusiasm and happiness of seeing her, was now diminishing.

Meanwhile, she was going back to the tree grove...

“Where are you going now?” He was still confused.

“Oh, I...I am... I want to show you something, come... come”

Though, He did not ask any question, yet he followed her with a heavy heart. Soon they were near that grove.  She seemed disappointed, rabbits or any sign of them was not there.

“Where are those rabbits?”

“What rabbits?”

“Here, I was playing with them all the time when you were not here.”

Now, he got more disconcerted... ”I never saw any rabbit here.”

“But, they were here.” ….

“Anyway, come, see this...”

 She went to a huge banyan tree and held a thick vine duo, which was looking as a nature made swing. She sat on it and slowly-slowly started swinging on it...up and downwards….

“Be cautious, lest you should fall.” He was worried and upset as well.

She laughed and for that moment, her laughter sounds like a waterfall …falling from high hills…He was looking her with another surprise... “You are crazy...”

Soon the swing caught some speed. And, as it was not enough for her, so she started turning it round in circular motions. He was, once again astonished.  Her laughter and that loud expression of joy were creating magnetic waves, engulfing everything that was presented on that moment of time on that piece of land  ... and she,  she was hardly aware of all that and was enjoying the swinging only…He felt that he was not able to move eyes from her... or maybe he doesn’t wanted to do that.. Meanwhile, she noticed it.. 

She noticed his eyes…there were aspirations, expectations, ambitions and  ...and lot more things. And in her eyes,…he saw a dream, hidden behind the sparkling curtains. He stepped forward…

“You have not asked my name yet.”

“I know your name.” Another careless reply.

“You know!!!!!!!!! But, I have not told you... then, how…how you know?? “He was now standing in front of her.

“What…”  For a second she stopped laughing and seemed answer less...

He repeated the question…Her smile came back. Eyes were looking to an unknown horizon, when she said…

“Your name is Mirage …Your name is Rainbow Phantasm.”

He stopped the swing with a strong grip of hands and looked to her, but she softly removed his hand and stood up from the swing.

He was speechless, but wanted to say something.

She heard…She turned back…but what is this...

Everything  ... around her, including him, was getting disappear in a vortex. She shouted with fear... she extended her hand to catch something…but it was late...

“Stoppppppp…” Her breath was fast and she was sweating…

“Soniya, Rani, what happened  ...It was just a dream. Relax...” Those were her parents.

Her cell-phone ring tone rang up…” Chhoti si kahani se baarishon ke paani se..saari vaadi bhar gai…”   

The First Part of the Story is Here

.

When I got lost.. part 1

She was sitting by the lakeside; feet touching the water surface and her long hair were hanged down on her shoulders. She was wearing a long frock in mixed white, blue and yellow shades.  A generous smile was on her face and she was lost in some thoughts. she was gazing at everything with wonder and joy and as she was trying to assimilate the pristine beauty of surroundings through her eyes. Suddenly, she felt some tickling; her eyes fell on a rabbit who was rubbing his nose near her hands.

“Heyyyyyyy…” she giggled and the rabbit ran quickly.. she chased him. She was running behind the rabbit from one tree to another, from one bush to another, from one side to another.  Her laughter was echoing in the whole ambiance. Suddenly, she stopped, she noticed something, and she turned back and looked in to that particular direction...

A boy was standing there, looking at her with some strange expressions. She, too, looked at him… from tip to toe. There were strong expressions in her eyes… apathy, negligence, a bit of anger… along with lot of questions. Perhaps, she wanted to ask,”What are you doing here and by whose permission you dared to stepped in here?”  But she moved back without saying a single word. The boy was still looking at her and he, too, followed her...

“Who are you?”  He asked.

 Girl looked at him with another strange sight, may be saying…why are you asking so?”

Her eyes once again started searching for that rabbit that was now disappeared.  She slowly walked towards the lake and sat there. Her reflection was looming in the water. She was looking at her own reflection. 

He came near her and asked softly, “may I sit here?” while looking at her reflection.  

Now his reflection was also visible in water and both of their shadows were facing each other in limpid water.  

“Who are you?” question was repeated, but she ignored and asked a counter question...

“Where did you come from?”

 He smiled and said, “From the other side”.

“Other side of what?” the girl got curious.

“Other side of the hill.” He replied, while pointing towards the far hill. He noticed her curiosity. She looked into that direction and asked again, “do you often come here?”

“Not much, sometimes…never saw anyone here so got curious about you.”

“Where did you come from?” now he asked.

“From the other side.” Same answer he got and same question he repeated back to her.

“Other side of river”. She replied while smiling.

“But I never saw any river here”.

“Because you never tried to see.”

“Ohhh…” 

She started splashing the water with her feet.

“What is your name?” he asked.

“Does that matter?” she laughed.

Then, she asked, “How does the other side of hill looks like? I never had been there.”

He started telling about it.  Thus, the conversation between the two broke and went on... and on… sitting by the lake. As if, they were not the strangers who were meeting up for the first time. It seemed, as they know each other from a long time and as two old friends met after a long break. Suddenly, the girl stopped talking, something caught her attention... She looked at him with a bit hesitation. He noticed it and asked  ...”What?”

“I want that flower,” she pointed... There was a flower in the lake... fully bloomed, a bit pinkish, and a bit white, a bit of some other shade. It was a bit far from the lakeshore, not easily accessible.

“It is far, and no means are here to reach to that flower. We cannot get it.” he tried to explain. But she did not seem satisfied. However, she did not ask anything further about that, but her face was saying something. 

“Why don’t you take those flowers, they are also very beautiful. Aren’t they?

Seems, she liked the suggestion and moved to those floral shrubs. Soon she plucked some of them with their soft offsets. She rolled some on wrists. Made a flower/leaf necklace. Some she used as earring… and even made a crown of it. She was giggling and moving from one tree to another, fiddling through floral vines that were hanging with those trees.  

He was watching her, astounded and bewildered with what was in front of his eyes. Whether is it a girl or a swinging floral vine that appears like a girl? When she noticed him staring, she too placed her eyes on his face... He felt a heat…those sharp eyes were able to see deep inside his heart and soul. He turned his eyes down and hardly spoke...

“You are looking... you are looking... very…”

“Pretty...” she finished the sentence and broke in a mild laughter. 

“Yes... Beautiful...” 

She smiled and for the next few minutes, silence started talking between them. It seemed as the whole universe stopped at that specific moment of time, the nature and its all creations got hypnotized…in their silence and with the flow of breath that was the only sound reverberating in air.

Suddenly a loud voice broke the flow... He turned and looked into some direction and said, “My people are calling me. I have to go”. He spoke in a low voice. She did not say anything.

“I have to go...”

She stayed calm, with her eyes lost somewhere.

He stood there for  few seconds.. but that loud voice echoed again... He rushed towards the voice, but then, he stopped for a moment and shouted, “You have not told me your name... “

What is your name?”

“June... My name is June.”

“June…” he repeated. “Strange name” …he whispered and ran away.  She was looking into the direction in which he was gone and disappeared.  For few moments, she stood there without any purpose then, turned back to the trees. She was thinking, she was not able to understand…am I sad, am I missing something, am I missing HIM, am I…or …

The Second Part of The Story is Here

कुछ टूट गया ..

एक सितारा टूट कर आसमान से ज़मीन पर आ गिरा ...बहुत से तारे कई बार टूट कर गिरते  ही रहते है..क्या बड़ी बात है.  पर वो सितारा रोज़ मेरे कमरे की खिड़की से दिखता था... उसकी चमक औरों से कुछ अलग दिखती थी. और तारों से थोड़ा ज्यादा चमकीला, थोड़ा ज्यादा करीब ..यूँ तो वो सितारा भी उतने ही प्रकाश  वर्षों की दूरी पर था जितने कि और सब तारे..पर फिर भी वो सितारा थोड़ा करीब सा ही लगता था. दूर होते हुए भी कमरे की खिड़की के ठीक सामने हर रोज़ उसी एक जगह पर नज़र आता था... रोज़ मुझे नई नई कहानियां  सुनाता था ...बड़े ही  दिलचस्प  और दिल को मोह लेने वाले किस्से कहानियां..बड़ी मीठी मीठी बातें..सम्मोहित कर देती थीं उसकी कहानियां ....वो सितारा सबसे सुन्दर लगने लगा था ..उसकी रंगत सबसे अलग दिखती थी ..आसमान में तारों और नक्षत्रों की भीड़ में भी मैं आसानी से अपने उस सितारे को पहचान जाती थी ...वैसे सब तारे एक से ही दिखते हैं ..पर कहा ना उसकी..उस एक सितारे की जाने कैसे एक अलग पहचान  बन गई थी..मुझसे कुछ जान-पहचान सी हो गई थी ....इतना दूर  आसमान के जाने कौन से कोने में रहने वाले और galaxi के जाने कौन से छोर की परिक्रमा करने वाले को पता नहीं कहां से मेरे कमरे की खिड़की का पता मिल गया और मुझे भी उस अनजान से सितारे की कैसे पहचान हुई ..पता नहीं..


पर फिर, एक दिन सितारा टूट के गिर गया, यूँ ही अचानक से ही..अर्श से सीधे फर्श पर ..इस तरह कि टूटने की आवाज़ हुई तो होगी पर कहीं कुछ दिखा नहीं ..बस चुप चाप से टूट गया..कहीं ज़मीन पर गिर गया..मिटटी में गुम हो गया ...पर ये टूटना, सचमुच का टूटना नहीं था..अब कोई उल्का नहीं है कि टूट के टुकड़े हो कर गिरे..ये टूटना ज़रा  प्रतीकात्मक था.. सितारा आज भी अपनी जगह पर चमकता है..वहीँ उसी कोने में , आकाशगंगा के उसी छोर पर ..पर अब उसकी चमक हलकी पड़ गई है..अब मुझे वो उतना पहले सा चमकीला नहीं लगता ...अब उसकी रंगत मटमैली हो गई है..या शायद अब उस पर कोई नया ही रंग है जिसको मैं नहीं जानती..या जान गई हूँ इसलिए देखना नहीं चाहती...सितारा अब भी कहानियाँ सुनाता है..पर उसके किस्सों को  अब मैं नहीं सुनती..आवाज़ सुनाई देती है उसकी पर फिर मेरे कान उस आवाज़  को ही अनसुना किये जाते हैं...सितारा आज भी वो ही मीठी बातें कहता होगा..वो ही दिलचस्प किस्से सुनाता होगा ..ऐसा मुझे यकीन है..पर उसके सुनने वालों में अब मेरा नाम नहीं ..अब जान-पहचान का सूत्र ढीला होते होते टूटने को हो गया है..अब मुझे अपने कमरे की खिड़की पर उस सितारे की प्रतीक्षा नहीं  रहती..उसके वो बोल..वो बातें.. सब नकली ..छलावा सा लगने लगीं हैं..

एक सितारा टूटा ..अर्श से फर्श पर...